On Date Conversation...

This art of conversation article is the second installment in a two-part series concerning date conversation skills. Click here for Date Conversation part-one.

When utilizing the art of conversation, one must understand how to properly build upon a discussion. Let's continue with the film example from Part 1...

After you follow up with “what was the last film you saw", you can start to build off it by inquiring who their favorite actor or actress is. Then you have the chance to shine by asking if they have seen other titles by the same actor/actress (www.imdb.com is a great aid for any movie go’er).

Naturally with either the TV or movie discussion, you need to keep an eye on your partner's responses, if s/he isn't really into TV or film (which can happen) then you should steer the conversation somewhere else or you will come over as some sort of movie/TV junkie.

Also, during first date conversation sessions you don't want to express too radical an opinion about something.

If s/he loved Pirates of the Caribbean and you despised it, don’t say something like "Wow, that was a steaming heap of crap, I couldn't stand it!" Instead try, "it wasn't really my thing" or "I didn't really get into it."

Feel free to throw out another route of discussion by saying you preferred Cutthroat Island or something like that.

If s/he's really into horse riding, but you are coincidentally afraid of horses, you can pitch it that while you would be too nervous to ride something more than triple your weight, you “admire someone with the courage to do it”. Therefore you managed to turn your horse phobia into a compliment to him/her - an excellent example of conversation skills!

Naturally if s/he happens to mention that s/he loved the Saw movies or is really into sci-fi then you can take that as a free pass to reveal a similar passion for Sci-fi, gore movies, etc. If s/he sort of likes Star Trek, then admit you are fond of it too, but it is not the right moment to mention you have a Starfleet uniform in your closet.

In summary, you should keep discussions clean, mainstream and ask follow up questions wherever possible.

Of course if s/he asks you stuff then answer the questions but don't turn an answer into a monologue or speech for you to voice off a long opinion about something. Also if you decide to disagree about an issue, do it gently and try to switch topics towards something you do agree with.

Remember to master your conversation skills, you need to practice them in real situations - first date conversations.

This has been a two-part series on Date Conversation by Richard Ford.

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