Building Self Confidence

This article is going to cover the topic of building self confidence. While it is in the Guy's section and the examples are male oriented, the general guidelines/ideas can be used by anyone.

proud

Whether it was the reason you never went after your old crush or if it was the cause for you never standing up to your girlfriend - at one point or another, a lack of confidence affects all of us.

If you are new to this section you may not know just how important building confidence is...

If you have ever asked "what women want" or "what girls want" - confidence would certainly be high on both of those lists.

Being and showing confidence is one of the major characteristics that attract females to males (And this dates all the way back to the age of the caveman. "Alpha male" ring a bell?) That is why building self confidence is so vital.

So you may be thinking:

"Okay, great. That's all well and good but I don't think I will be carrying around a club and dragging my knuckles on the floor like a caveman any time soon. So how do I show this confidence?!"

There are several relevant grounds that you need to be aware of which affect and project your confidence. But first, let's quickly discuss what confidence is - just so we are on the same page.

Confidence (more specifically, self confidence) is the trait of maintaining a positive self-image (or how we view ourselves).

Confidence is when a person knows what he wants in life and pursues it. He knows his boundaries and is not afraid to push them. He holds himself and his capabilities in high esteem (not the same as being arrogant) and is willing to share that view to others.

Now, what are some of the issues that project/affect your ability to build confidence?

1) Nonverbal body language

Women are extremely keen at reading what men are saying - without the male even having to say a word.

If you are not self confident, your body language will shout it out to the world - exclaiming your insecurities to whoever will listen (or look, rather).

Walk tall with your shoulders back and your chin up. Do not appear as a "weakling." If you walk the walk, it puts less necessity on you talking the talk to convey your confidence.

Positive thinking is very important too. The manner in which you think has a direct line into your own confidence levels. We have all heard of the example of how actors that play a depressing role often become depressed themselves - well, it's no different with you. Think positive!

2) Verbal language

If you talk down upon yourself when conversing with a female, how can you ever expect her to do otherwise? There is no need to brag everywhere you go, but make certain that you display an aura of self-confidence in your conversations.

Instead of saying "I can't", say "I'll give it my best."
Instead of saying "I'm an idiot, I bombed that last exam", say "I've certainly done better."
Instead of saying "Do you think we could go out to eat sometime?" say "Let's go out to eat this weekend, how about it?"

Don't speak in a faint voice, but be strong and certain with your sentences. You're a man - speak like one.

3) Achieving your Goals

There is almost nothing more boosting to our confidence than achieving a goal which we aimed for.

Whether it is winning a championship in high school sports, getting an A on your Math exam, buying a new car that you saved up for, or even getting a date with that cute girl you've been thinking about. Succeeding is building self confidence.

Likewise, there is almost nothing more damaging to our confidence than failing at our goals.

The solution to this problem is very simple and easy to do. Are you ready for a trick to building confidence? Yes?

The trick is in how you set your goals. Breaking up your goals into smaller tasks leads to having the entire process more manageable and realistically achievable.

Instead of saying at the beginning of the season "I want to win the championship", aim to just win the game this week.
Instead of saying I want to score an A in Physics (when you consistently score D's), aim for a B.

After achieving these smaller tasks, you set a new higher goal that will put you on pace for achieving your ultimate goal (whatever that may be).

4) Visual cues (your appearance and style)

This is somewhat similar to the factor we spoke about earlier (nonverbal body language). While this particular issue does work on a nonverbal scale, it doesn't have so much to do with how you actually carry your body.

A good way to explain it is this:

From a purely visual perspective which man do you think portrays more self assurance and feels more confident?

Absolutely option A. Dress confident = be confident.

These are the factors for building self confidence that you can begin working on right now. Practice them and improve with time.

Remember, our worst critic is typically ourselves. So if you can make it so your "worst critic" has a high opinion of you, just imagine how everyone else will view you...

Good luck with building self confidence!