Conversation Topics and How To Use Them

Below is part one of a two-part series on Date Conversation
topics and methods.

Some people get stuck for things to say or can't even come up with conversation topics in a dating situation.

This can lead to the dreaded uncomfortable silences which can result in the cancellation of subsequent dates.

Similarly saying the wrong thing (or in the wrong way) in a dating type situation can be just as harmful as saying nothing at all for the potential relationship. Here are a few tips for dating conversation in a real situation that may keep you out of trouble.

Do not mention your ex (or exes) - do not ask your partner about theirs. If you have had a dizzying supply of previous lovers tone down that fact with something along the lines of "a few."

For the love of Pete do not quote an exact figure whether real or fictional. In fact, someone wise once said that for the first several months of a relationship you should not have any contact with exes or even casually mention them.

Avoid conversation topics that involve anecdotes about outrageous drinking, recreational drug use or breaking the law. Avoid volunteering anything that might be considered overly shocking, geeky or radical - at least this early on in the relationship.

(There is nothing wrong with being unique - maybe your really fond of homemade time machines, but let that wait until you know each other better.)

One great thing that can reap huge rewards is to ask follow-up questions. Simply pay attention to what your date is talking about and pick up on specific details. Ask a question about it.

This has a few benefits:

First it indicates to your company that you are actually listening to what they are saying rather than trying to sneak a look down her top (if it is a woman - or maybe a really buff guy). It also gives the strong impression that you are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say - thus making them feel important - thus making them feel good about themselves - thus you will be off to a really good start!

The added bonus is that you will also learn a heap about your potential lover - just be sure not to make it seem like an interrogation or a job interview.

There are often nice safe dating conversation topics that work really well and lend themselves to easy expansion into a rich and lively conversation. Take TV for example, you can open with a question like "Did you see Prison Break last night?" ...Big Brother, Lost or American Idol?

Most people watch at least some TV - so if your date says “yes”, you have the recent episode to chat about. If they missed the episode, you get to offer them a vivid description of it, or if they hate Prison Break, discuss why and ask what his/her favorite shows are.

From there, with good use of follow-up questions, you can hop through favorite shows both present and past. Similarly, if you are a cinema buff, ask if s/he has seen some recent movies - opt for reasonably mainstream choices to begin (not a cartoon, sci-fi or anything too violent).

This is Part one of a two-part series on Date Conversation topics composed by Richard Ford.
Be sure to check out part two!