100 Of The Dirtiest!

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Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

Below is a list of dirty pickup lines that will make you want to take a shower after reading them. We hope that you enjoy yourself and the slapstick humor behind 'em.

You must be 18 years or older to read these pick ups!

1. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

2. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

3. I'm easy. Are you?

4. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

5. Nice shoes. Wanna screw?

6. You wanna play circus? You roar and I'll throw ya the meat!

7. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

8. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

9. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

10. I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

Warmed up? Well, let's get going with more dirty pick up lines!

11. Wanna play TV? I'll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise.

12. Hey do you wanna sit on my lap and see what pops up!

13. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and screw ya!

Some dirty pick up lines, are potty-like.

14. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

15. Wanna play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW.

16. You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong

17. I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
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Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

18. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

19. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

20. My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick?

Still too clean? Well, have some more dirty pick up lines!

21. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

22. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

23. Hump is the subject today, would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me?

24. Let's play lion and liontamer. Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat.

25. Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try?

26. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

27. Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood!

28. Wow! Are those real?

29. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

30. Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!

31. Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between!

32. A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

33. Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

34. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Don't you love the taste of dirty pick up lines in the morning?

35. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

36. Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.

37. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

38. The word of the day is legs; why don't you come to my house and spread the word.

39. If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?

40. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

Dirty pick up lines can be direct sometimes, huh?

41. F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynocologist??

42. Nice legs...what time do they open?

43. A you a farmer? No, 'cuz you sure know how to raise a c*ck.

44. Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?

45. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?

46. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

47. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!

48. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

49. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute
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Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

50. Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

You're halfway through our dirty pick up lines collection!

51. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

52. I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it?

53. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

54. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)

55. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

56. Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Watch out you don't overdose on dirty pick up lines!

57. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

58. There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

59. Let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you all night long!

60. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

61. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

62. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

63. Lets play titanic youll be the ocean and ill go down on you

64. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

65. Can you lick your nipples?[No] Can I? [Yes] Can you show me?

Don't let your momma know you've been reading these dirty pick up lines!

66. Hi. Are you cute?

67. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

68. (after sex) Damn girl, you're like those Indy cars... You can burn 4 rubbers at once!

69. What winks and f***s like a tiger? (Wink)
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Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

70. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

71. (Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.

72. That shirt is very becoming on you. But then if I was on you, I'd be coming too.

73. I'm having a party at your ankles... should I invite your pants down?

74. Guess what?! I've got an 8" tounge and I can breath out of my ears!

For the 75th of our dirty pick up lines...

75. I hope you're not a vegetarian... cuz I want to feed you some meat!

76. Who's your friend?

77. I wish I were Winnie the Pooh so I could stick my nose in your honey jar.

78. I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

79. True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

80. Can we play baseball? You have a nice bat but instead of a ball- lets use my hole!

Let's get filthy with some more dirty pick up lines!

81. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

82. Hey...did I mention I go down like a ship?

83. Wanna play 68? You do me and I owe you one!

84. Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a taste?

85. F*** me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me...

86. I could hear your c*ck talking and it just told me to blow you.... a kiss!

Dirty pick up lines are for all year - even holidays!

87. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

88. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

89. Hi, do you believe in one night stands?

90. Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.

Only ten more dirty pick up lines!

91. Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
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The countdown is on to the completion of dirty pick up lines!

92. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

93. Do you live on a Chicken farm? Cuz you sure know how to raise c*ck!!

94. (When someone clears their throat) Do you have a frog in your throat? Want me instead?

95. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?

96. Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!

97. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

98. (Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?

99. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f***.

...And the last of our dirty pick up lines is:

100. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

Click Here to Read Our Dirty of Dirty Lines
If you DARE!
Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

You made it to the end of our dirty pickup lines section! Make sure you check out our religious pick ups sections (Christian, Jewish and Muslim) as well as our funny pick up lines and cheesy pick up lines - they may not be dirty pick up lines, but there's nothing wrong with PG-13? Right?.
Good Luck!

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