Relationship Dating Distinguishing Love

One really tricky thing with knowing yourself is distinguishing love from lust - Physical attraction, an initial reaction. Love or affection is a more solid attraction based on less definable qualities, but how to know in your heart of hearts if you have feelings for a person?

You can test your own water, such as if you see them and you feel your mood brighten. This is distinct from just seeing them and feeling the same rush of arousal that you would get if a girl with supermodel body walked past in an amazingly little outfit.

Moving on to testing your waters you can look out for any time during conversation with others it sounds like they are about to say that the girl already has a boyfriend or that someone else is interested in them. If suddenly you feel it in your guts like the bottom is falling out of your world: This is not the reaction of someone who is just meaninglessly aroused by a girl. If you are uncertain between two girls then you could consider this a way of seeing where your heart wants to go. It may not even be as strong as the feeling that the bottom is falling out of your world but perhaps a pang, though it should be easy to spot if you know what to look for. It is just the thing that you can look out for your own reaction - trying to read yourself rather than other people.

Also this technique does not need to be limited to testing your own water but when applying the technique to someone other then yourself you need to rely on external signs and not on internal feelings. This means you have to be on the lookout for outward signs of an internal reaction. This is a lot less easy than you might think - most people hide their emotions to a greater or lesser degree and so don’t go expecting a nice obvious reaction like that kid from home alone. A person's reaction to having their water tested can be as subtle as a few seconds pause before they reply as they take a moment to mentally regroup. If you are lucky they may sell themselves out with a brief furrow of their brow but the emphasis is on brief. These brief signs between one expression and the next are what's known as micro expressions and are used by interrogators to spot liars (or anyone else with something to hide).

If you do not happen to be looking at them the exact moment that the info hits their brain then you could miss the sign. Ideally you can observe them in normal conversation and hope that someone else says something that could cause one of these responses and you are free to observe.

However, if you have to make something up in order to test the person’s water then you should dress it up as you checking with them for confirmation of a story that you are not sure about. Something like "is it right that Claire is going out with some guy she met a couple of nights back at that open mic night?" (At least make sure that Clare was at the open mic night and that your test subject was not). Be sure to sound a little bit uncertain or all you are doing is starting a rumor about Clare.

In summary testing your own water is an easy harmless technique which can be a way to knowing your true feelings for a person. On the flipside, the testing of another person’s water can be a delicate business and is very far from an exact science and can potentially backfire (particularly when making up a story to test someone).

An article composed by Richard Ford