340 MORE laughs!

Welcome to a handful of funny pick up lines!

How big of a handful? Well, below is a list of 340 MORE pick ups that will slap your knee and gasp for air. Kick back, relax, enjoy yourself and the humor of these lines.

You better stretch your sides now...

1. Can I have a band-aid, I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

2. If your beauty was money, I wouldn't waste a dime!

3. If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.

4. I work for a construction company. Need a Lift?

5. Wow! Are those real?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

6. You: You're perfect in almost every way, except you have one major flaw.

7. Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!

8. Before you run, I am not a freak.

9. Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.

Go ahead and laugh it up with our funny pick up lines!

10. Do you want a hotdog to go with those buns?

11. Does your boyfriend know where you are?

12. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

13. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

14. If I was God I'd make the world revolve around you.

15. Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.

LOL x5 = funny pick up lines!

16. Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.

17. I wanted to die but u looked so fine I decided to live.

18. You're the sound in my voice, the rythm in my walk, the thunder that vibrates in my heart.....be my lightning and strike down on me!

19. So, do you like fat guys with no money?

20. Greetings and salivations

21. kiss me if I am wrong, but isn't your name (take a guess)...Janice????

How bout some funny pick up lines!

22. Does beauty run in your family?

23. The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight.

24. Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot?

25. So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) 'Cause I'm gonna ask you out.

26. Hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

27. Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

28. Guy: I may not be Baby Bash but you're my suga

29. If being sexy was a crime, you would be on America's most wanted list.

30. Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

31. You're like a prize winning fish... I don't know whether to eat you or mount you.

32. I believe I'm physic and my visions tell me that we need to be together.

33. Hey baby, where you been all my life?

34. Because your face is really hot!

35. Wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

Laugh out loud with our funny pick up lines!

36. (Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?

37. Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?

38. When's our wedding date?

39. It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.

40. That outfit is horrible take it off right now!!!

Hardy, har, har our funny pick up lines!

41. I wish we lived in Alaska where the nights would last forever.

42. I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.

43. I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.

44. Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?

45. If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

46. You're hotter than donut grease.

You need some more funny pick up lines!

47. Got a slot machine?:cause I'd like to take a chance!

48. Your name must be Mickey, because you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey.

49. This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!

Reaching the first 50 of our funny pick up lines...

50. If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.

51. What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.

52. If you were Spock's phaser, you would be set to stun.

53. Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You're cool cause you're hot!

54. What's that on your face? *kiss* Just what I figured...lips.

55. Take a chance on me.

56. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

57. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

58. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f***? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

59. You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

60. Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.

Eat some of our funny pick up lines!

61. Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?

62. Guy: Do you have room in your life for another friend?

63. Your so hot you make my teeth sweat...

64. Is that a ladder in your stocking or a stairway to heaven?

65. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

66. I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?

67. So you think we'll figure out a way to spend this money?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

68. You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?

69. Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.

70. Would you like to see me naked ??

71. My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.

72. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could serve as a conversation starter?

73. Are you a pitcher, cause I love the way you throw those curves!

What are these? Funny pick up lines!

74. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

75. How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!

76. Want to compare tan lines?

77. Here is $11. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.

78. I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

79. (Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.

80. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

81. Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!

82. Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Funny pick up lines galore.

83. Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!

84. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

85. You got a sewing kit? Cuz I'm ripped!

86. Man oh man, if I didn't look a second time I wouldn't believe someone as beautiful as you existed.

87. Hey, wanna be a pirate with me? Maybe we could hook up.

88. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the

89. I'm here now. What were your other two wishes?

90. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

91. Do you drink a lot of Snapple? Because you look like you're made from the best stuff on Earth.

92. Did you know the human body is 90% water and i'm really thirsty.

93. Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....

94. Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."

95. They say apples don't fall far from the tree so you're mom must be hot too.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

96. May I swab ye' poop deck?

97. o you like to drink through straws?

98. Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

99. Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

#100 of our funny pick up lines...

100. Got any Irish [Italian, Asian, etc.] in you? [Significant pause.] Want some?

101. Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

102. Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.

103. You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you?

104. Would you help me look for my lost dog? I think he ran into that cheap motel room.

105. Every rose needs its thorns thats why I should be with you.

106. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

107. I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries

108. Hey Baby, you look like a TI-89....because I want to put my natural log in you!

109. I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

110. Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...

111. I can tell your future, it is you giving me your number.

112. I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

113. Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your

114. There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

115. Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't buy you a drink.

116. He says, "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." He kisses her then says, "I lost."

117. My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.

118. What time do you have to be back in heaven?

119. So...did you just dump your boyfriend cause you were to hot for him?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

120. I love the way you move; like butter on a bald monkey.

121. talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

122. I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.

123. Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?

124. Let's take a shower together -- you smell.

125. When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren't the only things that got stretched.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

126. If I were a horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle.

127. He says: Stay beautiful till the next time I see you.

128. If you see a woman walking up the road with a child or a baby stroller tell her you'll go halves on another one.

129. Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.

130. How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.

131. Was you Father an Alien? Cuz honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

132. Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist.

133. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

134. If I was any object I would be a fan, so when you turn me on, I can cool you down when you get hot.

135. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!

136. You're so pretty i wish i could plant you and grow a whole field of you.

137. Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so pretty comes once in a lifetime.

138. Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.

139. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

Sad? Happy? You need funny pick up lines!

140. You're so cute you make Hello Kitty look like Quasi-moto.

141. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

142. If I was a pancake, I would want you to be my maple syrup!

143. If you go to a play, after it is over ask "Want to leave and see the second act?"

144. Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!

145. Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb!

146. Wow! You're like Gillette. You're the best a man can get.

147. You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.

148. I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call

149. Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!

Almost halfway through our funny pick up lines!

150. Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.

151. Damn girl, you are the finest girl in 2006 (or whatever year it is).

152. What's a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?

153. Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you.

154. I think i'm gay, wanna prove me wrong?

155. I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

156. This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

157. You know how kryptonite makes Superman weak? Well, you're my kryptonite, and I'm him.

158. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

159. I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

160. Do you believe in fairytales, because one is about to start.

161. You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

Live life to the fullest with funny pick up lines!

162. Guy: Baby, your body is a wonderland!

163. I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

164. You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!"

165. Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.

166. What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.

167. Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!

168. Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?

169. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

170. Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

171. Beautiful.

172. Guy: Oh sorry that was my heart singing for you

173. Hi, I'm Will....God's Will.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

174. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

175. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

176. Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day...all I'm asking for is one

177. I tripped on a kiss and fell in love with you.

178. Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

179. Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

Funny pick up lines, they do your body good!

180. If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?

181. If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.

182. Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.

183. I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?

184. Excuse me... do you speak Klingon?

185. You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

186. I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

187. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

188. I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.

189. It must be dark outside. 'Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.

190. Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket

191. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

192. Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

193. That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.

194. Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

195. Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?

196. Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you

197. Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)

198. Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.

199. Girl, you gotta be tired cuz you been runnin' through my mind all day.

200. I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.

201. If sexy was a blade of grass...you would be a pasture

202. Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

203. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.

204. I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.

205. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

206. Baby, I'm like Taco Bell...I'll spice up your night.

207. If I pet you, would you follow me home?

208. Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!

209. I wanna spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.

210. Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?

211. I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

212. Does my breath smell okay?

213. Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.

214. I bet I can flip ya and dick ya before you can throw me and blow me!

215. I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.

216. Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...

In the sky! It is! Funny pick up lines!

217. Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

218. If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"

219. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

220. I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you.

221. Do you know how to use a whip?

222. Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

223. Your so hot the sun has to wear sunglasses just to look at you.

224. Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

225. My leech would like you as a new host.

226. Hey, Lets make like fabric softner and snuggle.

227. (while looking at stars) Baby, I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

228. Congratulations! My friends and I have voted you the hottest guy around! And your prize is ...a date with me!

229. Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?

230. Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?

231. Scream and I will kill the kitten!

232. If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.

233. If someone was to write a story about my life, the climax would be when I met you!

234. Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

235. Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?

236. ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

237. Someone pass the tartar sauce cuz your quite a catch!

238. When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"

239. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.

240. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

241. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

242. Don't you know me from somewhere?

243. Really? Why is that?

244. Drop 'em!

245. Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.

246. Great legs, what time do they open?

247. (Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.

248. Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?

249. Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?

250. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

251. Angels fall from the sky, i rise from the bottom

252. You turn me on like a blasting stereo.

253. (give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.

254. The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

255. Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?

256. You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

257. I'm just a love pirate lookin' for some booty.

258. There was no color in the world until I met you.

259. What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?

Everybody get your laugh on with our funny pick up lines!

260. Do u have change for a million?

261. Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.

262. Hey is it hot cause I think im melting all over you !

263. I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

264. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

265. You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

266. I am not a pro basketball player but i would like to score on u

267. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

268. Please don't go or else I will have to make a report to the cops....u stole my breath away.

269. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

270. If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!

271. Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.

272. Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart!!

273. If you were a steak you would be well done.

274. You’re a pot of gold in this enormous world and I’m just a little leprechaun.

275. I'd marry your cat to get in the family.

276. Say, did we go to different schools together?

277. You can’t be first, but you could be next.

278. There is much more here than what meets the eye.

279. If your right leg's Christmas and your left leg's Thanksgiving, can we meet between the Holidays?

280. To the world your one person, to this person your the world.

281. You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

282. You look lika a tall glass of water, I wanna drink you up.

283. You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

284. Baby whatever your serving you better give me a double.

285. I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!

286. Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?

287. There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

288. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

289. I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

Funny pick up lines for you and yours!

290. Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.

291. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.

292. (her name) you are the wind beneath my wings.

293. Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.

294. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

295. Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

296. Are you a new type of candy because your so sweet.

297. If your love could be described by words, Webster would have to make another dictionary just to describe you.

298. Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

299. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.

300. Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes

301. Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.

302. Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink.

303. You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

304. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

305. So I hear you like to eat off of other people's meal plans...

306. Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.

307. Pull my finger.

308. You look just like my mother.

309. Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

310. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

311. Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?

312. Everyone thinks that rain is sad...but really it is happy, Imagine the possibilites... rain.... white tee shirts... you.... and me, baby.

313. You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?

314. Ouch! My tooth hurts! Target: "Why?" Because you are soooo sweet!

315. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

316. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

317. Hello? Oh, your body was calling me from across the room.

318. Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.

319. Where have you been all my life?

320. Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

Funny pick up lines even your dog will like!

321. (Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?

322. Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?

323. When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

324. Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

325. I wonder what our children will look like.

326. Are we related? Do you want to be?

327. If you were a sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'd be a McGorgeous

328. Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break

329. Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?

330. If a piece of paper meant sexy, then you'd be a forest!

10 more funny pick up lines!

331. So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

9 more funny pick up lines!

332. You must be a sargeant, because you have my private standing in attention

8 more funny pick up lines!

333. Do you like blueberries or strawberries? (why?) Because I want to know what kind of pancakes to make you when u wake up.

7 more funny pick up lines!

334. Excuse me miss, I don't mean to stare, but um I think you're really pretty.

6 more funny pick up lines!

335. Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

5 more funny pick up lines!

336. Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?

4 more funny pick up lines!

337. Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.

3 more funny pick up lines!

338. Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.

2 more funny pick up lines!

339. You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.

The last of the funny pick up lines!

340. Why did the chicken cross the road? The same reason I did - to flirt with you!

Bravo on completing the whole funny pick up lines section! Be sure to wander through our religious pick ups sections (Christian, Jewish and Muslim) as well as our cheesy pick up lines and dirty pick up lines.

And don't forget about the original 350 funny pickup lines waiting for you!

With our heaps of funny pick up lines, there's nothing you won't be able to do! (Well, maybe a few things...) Just remember the funny pick up lines you learned from your amigo, your pal, your Relationship-Buddy.

Good Luck!