What YOU Can Do and HOW To Do It.

Liar Liar: noun. An individual whom has great difficulty being honest.

So your relationship is in full swing, but there is just one little problem: your relationship dating partner is a true life Pinocchio!

Lying is something that we're all guilty of at least now and then. While it's never really a good thing, sometimes lies are more "justifiable" than others (aka white lies). Examples of these include the typical phrases:

No, those pants don't make you look fat.
Balding? You? No way, you have plenty of hair.
It doesn't look like you gained any weight at all.
You're the sexiest man I know.

And the ultimate...

No, it's okay. I'm not mad that you ate all the ice cream.

White lies are used for smoothing a relationship and handling light matters without hurting your partner's feelings. Basically when telling the absolute honest truth will serve no real purpose but to upset the other person.

White lies aren't what this article is about.

We are looking at a much darker monster, much more serious lies, lies people use to cover their own butt. Such as:

Dishonest about where he/she was last night.
Fibbing about whom he/she was with.
Lying about using something that doesn't belong to him/her.
Not telling the truth about consuming certain things.

Unlike white lies or little lies, these are the types of "fibs" that can ruin your trust in a partner and give rise to a bad relationship.

So what can you do?

Is it possible to fix this scenario before it is too late?

arguement

Yes, it is possible. You will need to remember the magical ratio of 80/20. It means that 80% of the power to successfully changing the situation rests on the liar's back (to break old bad habits and form new habits of honesty) and only 20% of the outcome is in your control (to make a stand and demand improved behavior from your partner. I.e. to be the "rock" of support).

In light of this ratio, you can see that the only way for your partner to change and the relationship to improve is if he/she wants the change also and is willing to work towards it.

While relationships do "take two", in these circumstances, it just takes more on the liar's part than it does you.

So how do you approach your partner about changing their ways?

Deliberately, cautiously and tactfully.

Do NOT charge at them with accusations and an immediate ultimatum. But, don't make it look like you are BS'ing with the liar liar either.

Instead tell your partner that the both of you need to "sit down and talk about some things."

Begin by reminding them how much they (and the relationship) means to you.

Ask him/her about what you and the relationship means to them.

Ask your partner is they value "honesty in a relationship." Tell them that you require "honesty and openness" in yours and also that you feel hurt by their past displays of dishonesty.

Exclaim to your partner that you want the relationship to work out, but unless the pattern of lying changes you know it won't last much longer - not even little lies will fly anymore; it's time to tell the truth.

Offer your partner support by saying that you will "help them as much as you can with this, but the success depends on them."

Three possible outcomes will result from this approach:

If you're faced with the circumstances of a lying partner, don't fear the results of confronting the liar liar about it and insist that they start to tell the truth.

You truly have nothing to lose, because if you don't pursue a change, neither will they. You'll both be pursuing a break up to a bad relationship instead.

Good Luck!