Falling In Love vs. Being In Love

Let's begin this love relationship article with a great quote:

"Most people skydive for the freefall...
They jump for the amazing thrill and rush you get when plummeting back down towards earth. I do it for the feelings too; the feelings I get when I first land.

The sense of calmness, safety and security from being back on the ground... It's a state of complete harmony."

-Anonymous skydiver

Some people find themselves asking "What happened to my relationship?" love relationship

"I used to feel like I was floating on cloud 9 all the time. I used to get butterflies when we'd go out on a date...

I used to get nervous right before we'd kiss.
I still love them but I don't feel any of those other feelings anymore."

"What's going on? What's wrong with me?"

The answer: nothing is wrong with you or your love relationship. In fact, you're following a very typical progression for most relationships. Your long term relationship made the transition from "falling in love" to "being in love."

There is a real difference and it is noticeable. If you don't come to understand the two unique states, it could spell bad news for your relationship!

First let's take a look at what "falling in love" and "being in love" each are...

Falling in love occurs early on in a relationship, actually very early on. The moment that you start thinking "Hey, I like this person." - The gates have been opened. dead flowers

For the most part it is exciting, fun, and even scary. You aren't completely familiar with the other person (nor are you close to), therefore each day offers a new adventure opportunity to learn more about your partner and yourself, as well as build the love relationship stronger.

...A truly thrilling and addicting set of circumstances to find yourself in.

With time you become much more familiar with and accustomed to your partner. You know their likes, their dislikes, their hopes and their fears. You have gone on plenty of dates and proclaimed your love to each other more times than there are stars in the sky. Heck, you even met their family.

For the most part, you know what tomorrow holds for the long term relationship... Welcome to the state of "being in love."

The danger arises when that loss of butterflies and raw excitement is mistaken for a flaw in the relationship, or even worse, it is confused for a loss of love for their partner.

You must realize that the feelings and action of falling in love is far from permanent (it is absolutely temporary), but the feelings and warmth of being in love can last forever.

That is why it is so vital to understand these two related, yet different, states. The best and quickest solution for the preventable danger is to stop the confusion before it begins to form.

Even though the feelings of falling in love are amazing (to the point of being addicting) - it is an unsustainable state.

Has your partner found themselves asking "Do I love you?"

Sit down with them and discuss the differences between falling in love and being in love.

Do they share the same view as you?

If not, are you both at least seeing each other eye to eye?

The most important thing for your long term relationship is to make sure that you are both on the same page - to make sure that you know how your partner feels.

Good Luck!