Physical Intimacy

The Importance of Progression

Physical intimacy and its gradual progression is key to the growth and development of relationship dating. Having a boyfriend or dating someone is not like wearing a badge, its not just a case of getting it, fastening it to your jacket and you can just waltz around wearing it with pride.

The male of the species, you will be unsurprised to hear, has hormones and urges and desires and those will be understandably directed to his girlfriend. In a new serious relationship it is healthy not to begin it with a one-night stand, as has been said elsewhere, but when it comes to phycial intimacy there is a process of development that needs to take place.

At all times it cannot be emphasised strongly enough that it all comes down to the woman's choice - she does not have to do anything in terms of physical intimacy she doesn't want to do. However, if she chooses to do nothing at all then it can potentially harm or even prevent the growth of the dating relationship. To use a metaphor here is a little tale of three girls and their potted plants.

Once upon a time there were three little girls, as it was very usual for girls to own potted plants, and most girls wanted to then these three girls each got a potted plant. The first girl was very proud of having a potted plant, she told everyone who would listen about how happy she was with her plant and what a great plant it was.

Nobody thought it necessary to tell her that plants need to be watered regularly and so she only watered the plant once a fortnight and even then only a little bit. As the time went by the plant withered and slowly died. The girl didn't understand why the plant died and blamed the plant for being so inconsiderate as to die. It also put her off getting another potted plant.

The second girl hardly watered her plant at all, only slightly more than the first girl, but strangely the plant did just fine, week after week the plant grew and thrived. After a few months the girl discovered that a girl over the road had noticed her plant on the window ledge looking like it was badly in need of water so she had taken it upon herself to water the plant secretly.

When the girl found out about this then the second girl threw the potted plant into the garden of the girl who had been watering it secretly. Similarly this girl was also put off the idea of getting another potted plant.

Finally the third girl watered her plant just the right amount, not too much as too much water is bad for a new plant, and not too little either. As time went on the plant grew and thrived, it needed more water which was understandable as the plant was getting bigger. The plant did so well it needed to be repotted many times and continued to grow for a great many years.

As is no doubt obvious the first girl essentially withheld physical intimacy and the relationship, like the plant, withered and died. Similarly the second girl did the same thing but with the added consequence that the man was tempted to go elsewhere for his physicl intimacy and ended up cheating on her. The only girl who got it right was the third one - her treatment of her plant represents a sensible and reasonably consistent progression which led to a blossoming new relationship.

This article is not preaching forced or unduly rapid progress, as progress can occur at its own pace but all the while the woman has the deciding vote when it comes to physical intimacy. Here is the thing, if progress is neglected, much like some of the plants in the story, then the relationship can suffer. However gentle the progress is, so long as it is aparrent that there is progress, then the relationship has a good chance of thriving.

Physical Intimacy - Conclusions

In short, progression of physical intimacy is an essential part of a relationship. It is not the only part of a successful relationship, but without advancement in physical intimacy then a relationship can encounter problems in its growth.

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