And Why Your Relationship Demands It...

What is the importance of pillow talk in relationship dating?

This may sound obvious but it is worth mentioning because of the potential disadvantage of lacking it: When you and your partner are laying down to bed - whether or not there is sex on the menu that night it is a good thing to talk (even just briefly).

At the end of the day it is a way of winding down, even just a short exchange before saying goodnight. You could think of it as a way of offloading the days events, maybe there was some little anecdote from work that you had forgotten to mention when you just got in from work and had the so how was your day conversation. (You have had one of those before, right?)

As well as a chance for story telling, there are more interactive aspects to pillow talk. It may sound trivial or even ridiculous but asking for her opinion on tomorrow's decisions (even if you know what they will be) is great - it shows that you value their opinion. Listening is important of course, but also the process of asking what she thinks about things will give her ample opportunity to surprise you with her point of view.

pillow talk

To try and avoid having preconceptions about what she may say or think illustrates the respect you have for her not just as an equal partner in your relationship but as a human being as well.

The next aspect of pillow talk is if there is something important about the next day... If there is something you need them to take care of it is an ideal time to give a casual reminder of it at that point. Make it casual, that you in no way think they had forgotten or that you did not trust them to take care of it.

It is not a great idea to mention something like this for the first time just before bed as they may not be able to take care of it or may have to put themselves to trouble in order to do so. A new request should be made earlier in the evening to allow a plan b to be figured out if needed.

Lastly and the heaviest of all, there is the topic of talking about feelings, this ideal includes: Where the relationship is going and other deep topics. For many women they feel this is an ideal time to talk about such things. It is private, there should not be interruptions, there will not be anywhere you suddenly have to be and it is unwise to resist this. There is the added angle for those of you that are a little but antsy -- that if your answers are pleasing then there is a real possibility that an appropriate reward in bed may follow.

A cautionary note - due to the fact that you may be at the end of a tiring day you do not want to fall asleep during pillow talk or give the impression that you are paying your partner anything less than your full attention. It is a sensible thing to preemptively apologize if you realize you are worn out. Emphasize that you really want to give her your full attention and that you are sorry you might not be able to do that tonight. With hope you can get a rain check for the night but do not make a habit of this or do it several nights in a row.

In summary there are a range of topics which can be discussed before bed and if your woman considers it to be important then it is a good idea to respect that. Secondly if your lady does not happen to indulge in pillow talk then it is one way of scoring extra points by introducing it yourself.

However if you are introducing it then introduce it gradually as it is surprising when a man wants to talk, so a subtle introduction of pillow talk will both impress and not freak out your woman. The benefits of good and regular pillow talk are a nurturing of good communication and as said elsewhere that is one of the cornerstones of a good solid relationship.

-Richard Ford